I found this beauty of prose and immediately related. That is to say, it not only resonated with me, but also answered some deep, poignant questions I’ve had for a few weeks.
The author (possibly a Mormon - he hails from SLC) usually blogs about programming and fighting with code compilers. This time, though, he directs his comments mostly in condemnation of social media and internet time-wasting. I’ve written similar sentiments. “You’ll never know how much of your time is being stolen by the internet…” he says. It took an incredibly intimate moment, and possibly a little bit of divine intervention, for him to see through the fog, ignore the voices saying “Twitter is calling!” and notice those things which are most important, paradoxically close yet distant: his family and himself.
When I say himself (and when I say himself, please, dear reader, relate him to yourself), I don’t mean to say that I perceive him to be self-centered. Just the opposite in fact (again, paradoxically). When he was playing games on his phone or reading some meme or watching some video on the internet, that is when he was most selfish, thinking only of instant gratification which comes from quick hits of dopamine after one more ‘Achievement Unlocked!’ No, in this case, he wasn’t thinking of gratifying himself at all. All he was thinking about was improvement. “I recognized what I had been doing wrong and worked out ways to do better. I just required a few quiet moments with myself.”
I honestly have very little to add to what he said. The succinctness and thoughtfulness caught me off guard and made me realize that I was in the same trap he was. But it also reminded me how easy it is to get out of that trap.
I think I’ll be making some changes come May 1st.